It's the end of another day. You've been up since the crack of dawn; tossed endless loads of laundry through; run in circles cleaning up other's messes; participated in the "Chopped" (Parent Edition) marathon where your judge is a tiny version of yourself with a nose that can distinguish a hint of veggie that may have come into contact with their plate and who refuses point blank to drink anything out of a cup in any other colour but the exact shade of green of their underwear... You have FINALLY wrangled and wrestled everyone into and out of the tub, into some form of pjs, read bedtime stories, fetched water, rubbed backs while singing the theme song to "Paw Patrol" a billion times over and now there is silence...
There is sometimes a point during birth when many mothers reach a mental roadblock. This can happen at any point but I have found that for the majority of my birth doula clients it occurs when they are nearing transition (when dilation is almost complete and their bodies are almost ready to start pushing) or when a cesarean birth becomes necessary. "I can't do it!", "I don't want to!", and "I give up!" are common expressions that they might express to their support partners during this time.
This can be nerve-wracking for you, the birth partner, as you watch your loved one struggle to continue on this journey into parenthood. Thankfully there are several ways to help ground mothers when they reach this point.
I'm Kaya, the owner behind Cowichan Doula. I offer birth & postpartum doula services as well as prenatal classes in the Cowichan Valley area on Vancouver Island.