What are you expecting your postpartum period to be like?
What does your partner expect the postpartum period to entail?
These are a few thought and discussion provoking questions to go through together in order to set clear expectations and boundaries for a smoother postpartum experience.
What does your partner expect the postpartum period to entail?
These are a few thought and discussion provoking questions to go through together in order to set clear expectations and boundaries for a smoother postpartum experience.
Answer the following questions and add up the total.
<25 points - a great place to start discussing expectations
25< points - off to a great start
How involved will your support partner be during your birth?
1 = Not very involved, likely will be hands-off during the process.
2 = Moderately involved, likely will be somewhat hands-on with basic comfort measures.
3 = Very involved, likely will be continuously hands-on and an active partner throughout the process.
How involved do you want your support partner to be during your birth?
1 = Not involved.
2 = Moderately involved.
3 = Very involved.
How comfortable is your support partner with supporting you through your birth process?
1 = Not comfortable at all.
2 = Somewhat comfortable.
3 = Very comfortable.
How do you feel about your support partner watching you give birth?
1 = Not comfortable at all.
2 = Possibly okay with it.
3 = Very comfortable.
How does your support partner feel about watching you give birth?
1 = Not comfortable at all.
2 = Possibly okay with it.
3 = Very comfortable.
Assuming all is well, what is your ideal birth like?
1 = Unmedicated, no medicinal comfort measures offered.
1 = Possibly medicated, open to medicinal comfort measures if offered/suggested by care provider.
1 = Medicated, medicinal comfort measures as soon as possible, possibly scheduled cesarean birth.
Will your support partner be staying overnight in the hospital for the duration of your stay (if birthing at hospital)?
1 = No
2 = Maybe
3 = Yes
How comfortable are you with your support partner helping you use the bathroom after birth? (Eg. changing pads, helping with peri-bottle, helping with getting dressed, etc.)
1 = Not comfortable at all.
2 = Possibly okay with it.
3 = Very comfortable.
How comfortable is your support partner with helping you use the bathroom after birth?
1 = Not comfortable at all.
2 = Possibly okay with it.
3 = Very comfortable.
How do you wish to feed your baby if all goes to plan?
2 = Breast
2 = Bottle
2 = Both
How supportive is your partner about how baby will be fed?
1 = Not supportive
2 = Unsure
3 = Very supportive
How do you feel about circumcision?
2 = Will have it done
2 = Unsure
2 = Against the procedure
For the following questions tally each answer into columns "Birthing Parent", "Support Partner", and "Both".
If you will be bottle feeding (including formula and/or pumped breastmilk) who will be feeding baby?
If you are wishing to share the feeding duties, who will be responsible for daytime feedings (eg. 7am-7pm)?
If you are wishing to share the feeding duties, who will be responsible for nighttime feedings (eg. 7pm-7am)?
Who will be responsible for soothing (rocking, shhhh-ing, etc.) baby during the day?
Who will be responsible for soothing (rocking, shhhh-ing, etc.) baby during the night?
Who will be responsible for changing baby during the day?
Who will be responsible for changing baby during the night?
Who will be responsible for ensuring laundry is done for the whole family?
Who will be responsible for ensuring groceries are bought/ordered/put away?
Who will be responsible for making snacks and meals throughout the day?
Who will be responsible for making evening dinners and snacks?
Who will be responsible for household management tasks (paying bills, arranging appointments, banking, etc.)?
Who will be responsible for household upkeep (floors, dishes, bathrooms, changing bedding, etc.)?
Who will be responsible for arranging visitors?
If you have pets, who will be responsible for their upkeep during the initial healing period after birth (first 4-8 weeks)?
For the following questions write down your answers and discuss how you plan to achieve your answers.
How many hours of sleep do you each need to feel competent the following day?
If you have challenging family members/friends who will be visiting, who will be in charge of setting clear boundaries for them?
What are your top 3 most important priorities for yourselves as individuals postpartum? (eg. sleeping adequate amounts, time alone/outside the house, hobbies, etc.)
What are your top 3 most important priorities for yourselves as a team postpartum? (eg. sharing baby care, ensuring regular communication, intimacy/affection, etc.)
How will you communicate your partner's "Love Languages"?
*To learn more about the 5 Love Languages check out the link above and the book by the same author. It can help streamline communication between you and your partner as well as express gratitude in ways that are felt most by your partner.
What are your top 3 concerns about adjusting to life as new parents?
What are the top 3 things you are looking forward to as parents?
Who are your top 2 support people outside your partner, who you can go to for emotional support? (eg. who can you call in a crisis moment and who will give you
Who are your top 2 support people outside your partner, who can come give you physical support?
<25 points - a great place to start discussing expectations
25< points - off to a great start
How involved will your support partner be during your birth?
1 = Not very involved, likely will be hands-off during the process.
2 = Moderately involved, likely will be somewhat hands-on with basic comfort measures.
3 = Very involved, likely will be continuously hands-on and an active partner throughout the process.
How involved do you want your support partner to be during your birth?
1 = Not involved.
2 = Moderately involved.
3 = Very involved.
How comfortable is your support partner with supporting you through your birth process?
1 = Not comfortable at all.
2 = Somewhat comfortable.
3 = Very comfortable.
How do you feel about your support partner watching you give birth?
1 = Not comfortable at all.
2 = Possibly okay with it.
3 = Very comfortable.
How does your support partner feel about watching you give birth?
1 = Not comfortable at all.
2 = Possibly okay with it.
3 = Very comfortable.
Assuming all is well, what is your ideal birth like?
1 = Unmedicated, no medicinal comfort measures offered.
1 = Possibly medicated, open to medicinal comfort measures if offered/suggested by care provider.
1 = Medicated, medicinal comfort measures as soon as possible, possibly scheduled cesarean birth.
Will your support partner be staying overnight in the hospital for the duration of your stay (if birthing at hospital)?
1 = No
2 = Maybe
3 = Yes
How comfortable are you with your support partner helping you use the bathroom after birth? (Eg. changing pads, helping with peri-bottle, helping with getting dressed, etc.)
1 = Not comfortable at all.
2 = Possibly okay with it.
3 = Very comfortable.
How comfortable is your support partner with helping you use the bathroom after birth?
1 = Not comfortable at all.
2 = Possibly okay with it.
3 = Very comfortable.
How do you wish to feed your baby if all goes to plan?
2 = Breast
2 = Bottle
2 = Both
How supportive is your partner about how baby will be fed?
1 = Not supportive
2 = Unsure
3 = Very supportive
How do you feel about circumcision?
2 = Will have it done
2 = Unsure
2 = Against the procedure
For the following questions tally each answer into columns "Birthing Parent", "Support Partner", and "Both".
If you will be bottle feeding (including formula and/or pumped breastmilk) who will be feeding baby?
If you are wishing to share the feeding duties, who will be responsible for daytime feedings (eg. 7am-7pm)?
If you are wishing to share the feeding duties, who will be responsible for nighttime feedings (eg. 7pm-7am)?
Who will be responsible for soothing (rocking, shhhh-ing, etc.) baby during the day?
Who will be responsible for soothing (rocking, shhhh-ing, etc.) baby during the night?
Who will be responsible for changing baby during the day?
Who will be responsible for changing baby during the night?
Who will be responsible for ensuring laundry is done for the whole family?
Who will be responsible for ensuring groceries are bought/ordered/put away?
Who will be responsible for making snacks and meals throughout the day?
Who will be responsible for making evening dinners and snacks?
Who will be responsible for household management tasks (paying bills, arranging appointments, banking, etc.)?
Who will be responsible for household upkeep (floors, dishes, bathrooms, changing bedding, etc.)?
Who will be responsible for arranging visitors?
If you have pets, who will be responsible for their upkeep during the initial healing period after birth (first 4-8 weeks)?
For the following questions write down your answers and discuss how you plan to achieve your answers.
How many hours of sleep do you each need to feel competent the following day?
If you have challenging family members/friends who will be visiting, who will be in charge of setting clear boundaries for them?
What are your top 3 most important priorities for yourselves as individuals postpartum? (eg. sleeping adequate amounts, time alone/outside the house, hobbies, etc.)
What are your top 3 most important priorities for yourselves as a team postpartum? (eg. sharing baby care, ensuring regular communication, intimacy/affection, etc.)
How will you communicate your partner's "Love Languages"?
*To learn more about the 5 Love Languages check out the link above and the book by the same author. It can help streamline communication between you and your partner as well as express gratitude in ways that are felt most by your partner.
What are your top 3 concerns about adjusting to life as new parents?
What are the top 3 things you are looking forward to as parents?
Who are your top 2 support people outside your partner, who you can go to for emotional support? (eg. who can you call in a crisis moment and who will give you
Who are your top 2 support people outside your partner, who can come give you physical support?
